Time-challenged Maven T-Shirts

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Career Elevator

Man carrying his boss.

So Far So Good

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

Team Leader

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Reconnaissance reports your email blast to Sales was a direct hit, with acceptable collateral damage in Finance and Accounting.

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"