Tiling Prints

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

Manager of Happy Tiles with 'Grin' and 'Grout' files.

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

I quilt therefore I am

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

Crotchet

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

Workaholic goes to Pisa

"He was always loyal and insisted on being buried with his stilts..."

Quilt fanatic

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

Quilting Bee.

Outlaw Quilting Bees

'I wonder if they have any with water filters?'

'Tiling a Bathroom for a Crossword Puzzle Editor.'

Kitchen Tiling.

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

Rep-Tiles.

Make do and mend

Blake's Sealant.

"If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt."

A second life for Grandma's quilt.

"You stand accused of multiple thefts of winter bedding. How do you plead?"

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

'If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt.'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

Writer's Plough

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

Mechanization of sugar cane harvesting