Tide Commentator Pillows

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I think we have run out of time..."

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

How Glaciations Begin

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Tree of Public Opinion.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Sir Patrick Moore.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"This is gonna be great!"

The United States of Amazement

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

Chess on TV