Tickled By Vanity Pillows

"I wish to return this mirror - it makes me look old..."

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Toupee in a tin.

The caricature of Dorian Gray

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'Your sister's wearing well for her age. I hope I look that good when I'm ten.'

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

Dorian Gray views a Selfie

Hot chilli...

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

'Oh, don't fuss over little old me!'

The Selfie of Dorian Gray

"I never thought about coloring my hair until I coughed up a gray hair ball."

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

Medusa at her Vanity Table