Ticket Holder T-Shirts

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

Solar Storm Expected!

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'