Thrift Shop Treasure Hunter Pillows

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

All-you-can-wear.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I love these old decorations!"

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Pirate

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

Archaeologists discover a football

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'It's a treasure map.'

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"