Thrift Shop Treasure Hunter Pillows

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

All-you-can-wear.

What should I wear to the eco club dance? Something recycled. Yeah, but it has to be hot. W. Fester Thrift Shop. Who're you trying to catch? Sigh! Ryan Beardsley. Dressing reports. You can definitely catch a cold.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I love these old decorations!"

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Pirate

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

Archaeologists discover a football

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'It's a treasure map.'