Thread Count Enthusiast Pillows

"Very nice, but what's the thread count?"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

Two lovers sitting on a bobbin

Quilting Bee.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

A woman knits from a globe.

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

Psychiatrist knitting

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

My Fair Lady Twitter

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'I'm thinking of writing a tweet.'

The twittering president.

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

"Darn - zero steps again."

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."