Thoughtful Analyst Gifts

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

"Have you ever considered putting all your icky thoughts in a little box and keeping them there?"

The Human Condition

Shoot first, ask questions later

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Light Bulb Moment

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'The Questioner'

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Six Thinking Hats

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'