Therapy Trooper T-Shirts

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

'We do like both parties to attend even though you haven't been out together since 1984...'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems. Everyone else does!"

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

Shrink Saloon.

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."