Therapy Thinker T-Shirts

"Without cookie, me just monster."

"You came up in therapy this morning."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'Money can't buy happiness? Then how much to lease it?'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'You need to lower your expectations. I have. I no longer expect you to get well.'

'It's driving me crazy. I keep having this recurring dream about discovering a terrific tax gimmick and then I wake up before it's revealed to me.'

Number Phobia.

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"I feel used."

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

'Do you mind if I take the rest of the session to get your input on investor psychology?'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'Drinks are $7.00. If you talk, it's $150.00 an hour.'

'My dreams are totally boring, except for the commercials.'

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

"I feel I blend in well with the holes in my career ladder."

'So, what's to smile about?'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'These psychotherapy sessions will help us uncover the root of your problem, but I warn you...We're going to be delving deep...deep...deep into your savings account.'

'Your goal is to be free of support groups? We have a great support group for that.'

'Of course you're not a failure... you can afford my fees can't you?'

'Whether you should audition for 'Property Ladder' isn't really within my remit.'

'For futher information see the collected works of Sigmund Fredu, Vol 27, pg 23.'

'I have an imaginary psychiatrist.'

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

'In the age of downsizing, internalizing complaints si the new complaining.'