Therapy Session Narrators T-Shirts

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

Let's try some word disassociation

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

Cat Therapy. Just when we make a little progress, they bolt to another room for no reason.

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

'No... you first.'

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"My one-man band is breaking up."

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

"We can rule out stage fright. Maybe it's performance anxiety."

'I don't feel I stand out in a crowd anymore.'

"I sometimes eat and drink too much. My stomach gets very upset about it."

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

"Not every dream is about you, Mom."

'Not much of a support group are they.'

"Are you blushing?!"