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"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

Quiz Night...

Computer help.

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"I think we could work very well together."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

Where baby grand pianos come from.

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

'I've decided to spread the blame...unevenly of course.'

Tough germ.

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'