Therapy Advocates Pillows

"Ten years of therapy, and finally I’ve managed to replace my rage addiction with sarcasm."

'Please do not ask for change.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I hate Mondays.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We have three minutes left.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.