Theory Aficionado Pillows

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

Violin

Capital

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

'186,282.4 miles per second'? -- Couldn't you make it come out even?'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

The Physiciatrist...

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

A Freudian slip...

"Mine's bigger than yours."

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Complexity Made Simple.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Theory A Day Calendar.

Max Weber

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'