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'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

Honk if you Love Jesus

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Moses after forty years in the desserts...

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'I said, 'Roses.' Stop and smell the Roses!'

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Noah's arc - dove brings newspaper.

Jesus Fish

'Who was Noah's wife?'

Manna Helper

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

Hang on

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

The First Memoir: 'Ok...it's a pretty good story Noah. But I think it needs to punched up a little to make it marketable.'

One of the disciples fools around at the Last Supper.

Ikea Manger

The Original Good Cup of Coffee...

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got palms and opposable thumbs and the ass only has hooves... Get over yourselves, people!"