Theme Park Junkie Mugs

"The lakes are getting more like a theme park."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

End the Winter Blues

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

You must be this tall.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

"Tunnel of love"

Tunnel of Like.

Tunnel of TV

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Log Ride

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'...Please stop the...'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Children sitting in bumper cars playing on their cellphones.

"Now this is a dog park!"

Tunnel of like.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"Well, there's never going to be a perfect time to start a family."

Funnel of Love.