Theme Day Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Tunnel of TV

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Funnel of Love.

The Big Game Park

"Richard was recently promoted to first mate."

Towny Music Night.

Tunnel of like.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"Now this is a dog park!"

"Wow!"

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

Mine Shaft of Love.

'Tunnel of love, in a cold climate'

"Um, I think it's my job to make them dance."

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

Jurassic Pork

The interminable!

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

"God, I hate theme dinners."

DisneyworldDisneyland - Continental Divide.

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

'Stick the oven on dear, I picked something up on the way home.'

Onion Costume

"Wait – can you take us to Neverland? We're kind of over Florida."

"Sis, I have to present this in class tomorrow. What would you suggest in terms of theme music?"

'Here's where things got ugly.'