Theater In Sports Fan Gifts

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Raheem Sterling

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

Why moms make bad refs.

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Sheltering in place.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"