The Office Diplomat Pillows

'My policy is to stay in close contact with my employees . . . figuratively speaking.'

"We could agree to disagree but then I'd just be preoccupied with you being wrong."

By not taking sides and staying as neutral as possible, Bob was safe – and virtually invisible.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Inclusive speech

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Career Choices

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

HR - Helping Relationships

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Office meeting

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"If I can't get a firm decision, I'd accept a wobbly acquiescence."

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."