The Name Is Not Important Pillows

"Mr. Rod, el Cinco de Mayo is not about consumerism. It's a day to celebrate Latino culture, to share with everyone the pride we feel in who we are."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

The next wave

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Fido and Fifi

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

'Did you keep a back up in the cloud?'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

Research Concludes: We are destroying Earth.

Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

'Quit calling it an OMG-story, Larry. As I recall, I was the one who got them evicted from Paradise.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"Your favourite and my favourite...whose name escapes me at the moment..."

'Excuse me - I think you're in my seat.'