Temperance_movement_follower Mugs

The Drunkard's Children - Son and Daughter on Trial in Old Bailey

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Drive-thru Church

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"That shirt is so last year."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Giraffe Selfie

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

American Bombs

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

Basic Instinct