Telly Trifles T-Shirts

'I blame TV, computer games and the internet: None of my kids are bookworms...'

The DaVinci Code

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Chiller Theatre

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

The Philip Marlow family

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

Dessert - the most important meal of the day.

"Heeeere's your contractor. Sorry I'm three weeks late, but better late than never, I always say."

Love chair

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

Janet Leigh

Happy Halloween!

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"There goes that creepy music again...

Watching TV around the world

Secret agent 36-24-36 was lucky she was wearing her new bullet-proof swimsuit when she confronted the intruder.

Two men converse secretively

". . . I've no idea what's going on, dear!"

Dieting is for losers.

Quentin Tarantino

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

Clint Goodbuddy's plan to infiltrate the outlawed 'black hat' gangs' AGM was about to fall apart. . .

The Spy Who Loved Me

'What do you mean, 'will the director see you now'? He's been watching you for the past two weeks.'

The cinema of the Absurd.