Television Programs Prints

"And now a recipe for disaster..."

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

"It's like the food replicator on the Enterprise."

"I really enjoyed that, but if anyone asks, don't you dare tell them we watched it."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Television Readers.

Horror movies

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.