Telethon Season Pillows

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Binge Watch

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Birthday To-Do List

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

Inactive wear store.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'