Telepresence Fan Mugs

"You know you can't see her."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Comedy Cafe

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Time Machine Collision

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It appears you have a virus."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The E.S.P. phone: "Hi! I'm on the train."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"I do miss the crystal ball."

The phantom of the Oprah.

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

Vents, real and digital.

You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!

"I find her remarkably attractive."

'Cheap seats!'

"I'm sorry, he's just left the stage. May I take a message?"

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

'Anyway, thanks for listening to me...'

Poor turnout, Please help.

Selfie Extension Stik

The Moving Company.