Telephone Manner Connoisseur T-Shirts

'No, I wouldn't say you're a wrong number. We haven't even met yet.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Men gossiping

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'