Telephone Jokester T-Shirts

"Thank you for calling the unemployment office. No one can take your call right now, because we've all been laid off."

"You'll have to clarify. Do you want to speak to the head of the household or my dad?"

Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Are you dialing with hands or paws?

"Our menu options haven't changed but we really want to sit through all of them."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

'Can you do anything else?'

The Screeeen!

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

'It's for you.'

Cloud computing.

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

"Stand back? corrupt file."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

"I'll have my people call your people."

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."