Telephone Jester Prints

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

Here. They asked for me. That means it's probably no one I want to talk to. !?!

'It's for you -- some guy called 'McGruff.''

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Call centre musicians

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

'It's for you.'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Cyber crime.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

'I don't care if today IS 'casual day'! Stop answering the phone with 'International Beeswax Machines'!'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

Cow Printer

"I see balloons, food and drinks. Not only are there ants in our keyboard, they seem to be having a party."

Computer clown.

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

Don't text while flying.

Zoom