Telecom Troubleshooter Prints

"...Butt-dialed again..."

All of our representatives are currently servicing other customers. If you would like an estimate of your wait time, press "1" to hear a laugh track.

Cell Phone Company. Customer Service. Can you put a stop to some annoying nuisance phone calls I've been getting to pay my bill?

Still on hold.

'This call may be monitored in order to determine your breaking point.'

'Well, it's been nice talking to you, even if you are a recording.'

'What do you mean 'how much longer am I going to keep you on hold' - I called you!'

"I want to report a nuisance caller!"

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Ignore it. Telemarketer."

"It's tough being a media exec. There's always a threat of good news breaking out."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?