Teenage Niece Pillows

The end of innocence

She wished she'd listened to her mum and worn tights.

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

The breakfast of teens.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

At the Museum

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Wildlife

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Director/Action Man toy.

Football Fans

Packaging Russian Dolls

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'