Teenage Chaos Embracer T-Shirts

"I'm organising a collection in aid of the kitchen...would you care to make a donation?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

Summertime.

What the woman who spent years frantically trying to get her ducks in a row eventually learned.

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'His thought process is non-linear. It bounces around like a tumbling tumbleweed!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

You Know You're Old When...

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'He's doing it again.'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"I'm a professional organizer. At home, I like to relax."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

Courtney Love

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"Can't find your office, doc?"

'I'm all about quantity.'

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

'How did the 'creative way of thinking' course go?'

Shit Happens (bumper sticker)

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

'Are you sure every artist paints himself?'

'Call me crazy, but I think my paperwork is actually following me.'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'