Tee-total Enthusiast Pillows

Alcoholics Antonymous

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'You're away, Doc!'

The Janopause

Golf

My Gay Son Never Calls

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Fridge magnet' t-shirt.

Hail to the Cheif!

"Mother, please!"

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

"It's no fun wearing my Tintin shirt now that the masses know who he is."

Man wearing tee shirt bearing the slogan; 'Enjoy yourself', is being followed by the Grim Reaper, who is wearing a tee shirt bearing the slogan; 'It's later than you think'.

'No, I haven't been guzzling tea all day!'

'Well, according to this test, your blood group is African blend, two pieces of sugar, no milk.'

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

Kiss me, I'm swinish.

"Fore!"

You are here.

I don't look like much, but I'm going to inherit the earth.

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

'Very profound, sir - let's immortalize it on a t-shirt'

'See this advert? lost.. one little white ball!'