Tee-time Humorist Mugs

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

A DIY disaster.

COWMIKAZES

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

Prehistoric Pizza Delivery

"Love makes the world go round?! What...for 30 seconds a month?!"

Today's highs will be around 65. Today's lows will be getting out of bed and the morning commute.

Eighties Throwback.

"I'm not into health foods. I need all the preservatives I can get."

Elvis

Beggar advertises his oscar picks.

A doctor falling asleep at a patients bed.

"But neighbor Schultz get ten." "Our toon get two likes." "Good grief."

"Some times you just got to know when to shut your blow hole."

'Another good thing about the empty nest, no more middle of the night surprises.'