Techy Tweeter Prints

Will tweet you a merry little Xmas.

"You think you're addicted to Twitter? I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

Polly txt speak

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

Cybernetics Research Lab.

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Computer whisperer.

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

WWW.World.com

Social media messages

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"I am a control freak."

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'