Technophobe Trainer T-Shirts

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

High speed cinder block

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"Nurse, hitting the top and yelling 'work, you piece of crap!' doesn't even help with computers. It helps even less with patients."

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Stop! You're painting over all my passwords."

"Technology moving too fast."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'