Technophobe Investor T-Shirts

"Your 'Luddite Fund' is up 20% this year, but its Yelp reviews are very negative."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

"Technology moving too fast."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"