Technology Doubter Pillows

'Blindly following market trends generally works for me, but when it doesn't, I blame computer trading.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Privacy

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Domestic Spying Drones

Big Brother.

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.