Technology Avoidance Pillows

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

I.T. Fear

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

2016 Policlicks

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"Isn't this nice? No screens. Just the majesty of the here and now."

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

Larry hadn't measured himself against real market needs for many years - and wasn't about to start now.

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

"At last — no Trump."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

Day two of my political diet. I haven't watched FOX, or MSNBC. I haven't read the news pages of the paper. Scribble scribble scribble scribble scrib - I also haven't had any sweats, or racing hearts or hives. Write write write write scribble write. So I can probably start watching Hannity again tomorrow! Absolutely not. Doctor's orders!