Technological Innovation Gifts

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Polly txt speak

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Computer Room.

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"