Techie Tippler Prints

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'Hey, I'm going to have to slow down your refresh rate.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'3-D TV Kit'

Fixing the Computer.