Techie Thinker Pillows

"The greatest danger of artificial intelligence is that, from the perspective of pure logic, all of humanity's problems would be solved by its destruction."

'I just upgraded to high definition thoughts but there's still nothin' on ...'

'We're trying for a baby!'

"My computer has too much memory."

'I cost them almost nothing. I don't have health care. I can be deleted at a moment's notice. I'm not a valued employee anymore. I'm an app.'

'I program, therefore I am....'

"King James Version? No, it's a smartphone."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Googler

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Ascent of Machine.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Gadget geek.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'