Tech Troubleshooting Wizard Prints

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."