Tech Troubleshooting Buff Prints

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

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"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Home office' worker's house with cable going to 'Office services companies'

'Can you show me on this dolly what Bill Gates did to your computer?'

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

"Camera not working."

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

"I think I found the phone."

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

Computer Frustration

Wrong end of extension cord.

'The computer mentions 'virus' but I'm not sure whether it's in the software or you.'

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

'I think Phillips has a short circuit in his smart phone.'

"Maybe it's just playing dead."

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

'You're not calling the Help Desk again, are you?'

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'Try rebooting.'

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

'Oh no ! I've crashed.'

"If your going to get frustrated with your computer and assault it, may I suggest stretching first. You have three pulled muscles."

'You have got a computer worm!'