Tech Troubleshooting Master Prints

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

Recalculating

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Tech support...can I help you!

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Kevin had a computer virus.

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."