Tech Trouble Titans T-Shirts

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

"I'll help you with your weak Wi-Fi signal. But the next time you call a super hero, make sure it's a real emergency."

"They call it the Cloud. No wonder I Can't find anything in it."

"I'm not superstitious, but the internet connection broke down and the computer crashed just when I wanted to buy technology stocks..."

Internet crap.

Top Tips For Video Interviews

"Hello, this is Bill Gates. Remember, nobody has a monopoly on safety, so buckle up!"

"You keep telling me to back up my computer. Well, I can't back it up anymore. It's all the way back to the wall."

The smartphone app learning curve

"A P.C. is a P.C....a Copier is a Copier...and never the twain shall meet!"

"Winslow's computer must be down again."

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

"Welcome to tech support. You have three minutes to rage at me before we put an actual technician on the line."

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

"If it makes you feel better...I usually don't understand what I'm doing either."

Laptop Frustration Fixer

System been down long?

'When the computer senses that you are in a hurry, it automatically slows down.'

'How to beat a computer.'

"The fine print? Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."