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'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

Computer Frustration

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

"No internet connection"

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

'Don't knock it. Since I put the candles up, the computer hasn't crashed all term.'

Till malfunction

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Eiter global warming is accelerating, or my Google map with climate information is malfunctioning.'

'I think Phillips has a short circuit in his smart phone.'

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'Try rebooting.'

Wringing the Monitor

"This program really isn't user friendly."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"I'm telling you my computer is making an obscene gesture!"

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

When computers are attacked by Spam.

"I'll help you with your weak Wi-Fi signal. But the next time you call a super hero, make sure it's a real emergency."

'Our email program is on the fritz again.'

'True, we don't give out personal information, but every once in a while, the computer takes it upon itself to spill the beans.'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'