Tech Trends Tracker T-Shirts

"Hire me! Right now! Before the lightening pace of technology renders me obsolete!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"Which way up do you want it?"

Business Outlook

State of the Art Dog.

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'First the good news.'

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Hipster Police Department

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

'Today, in the stock market, 'irrational exuberance' was up, 'caution' was down.'

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'