Tech-savvy Pragmatist T-Shirts

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Rumours Online

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

The Thinker (with a laptop).

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

Websiteless -- please help.

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

"Buy my data $20"

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Rodin's 'The Computer.'

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."