Tech-savvy Networker T-Shirts

'Jenkins, as a warning, I am unfriending you, But you may still follow me on Twitter'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"A virus ate my homework."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'I saw it as a networking opportunity.'

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

Primordial Schmooze

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

Developing links within business.

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'