Tech-savvy Negotiator Pillows

"I'll read you a story but on condition that you convert and download my vinyl record collection onto this blasted thing."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

"Have your people call my people."

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

"I got it from eBay."

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'